FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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