The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize