Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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