i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
