chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
someone get that fucking seahorse.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
