i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
