If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
