youre lurking in front of me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
