At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize