the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
