Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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