you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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