woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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