he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i've created a new STD.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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