I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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