If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize