Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
