She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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