yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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