Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the condom got lost in my hair
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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