i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
