Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
