Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
