i already hear my dad disowning me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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