No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
