No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
