If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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