Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
