my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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