There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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