She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
