It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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