Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
