what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
