the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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