Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
