btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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