JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
