Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
