I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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