Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
