Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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