i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
