If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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