I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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