i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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