she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
