The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
