I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
