Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
