Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think people are normalizing furries
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
