I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
