One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
