no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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