i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
