I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
