Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Green mimosas i think yes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My bed smells like the plague
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
