I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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