By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
