I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize