Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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