Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
