it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
