when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
