It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
