i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
